Last Thursday was our blood work for the pregnancy test and it was negative. I've never felt so numb and lost in my life. Thank goodness we were at the beach with my family and had their support and had a shoulder to cry on.
Cody and I have different ways of grieving and it took a little more time for the full effect to hit me (which is usually not the case). I woke up Friday morning and it hit me, really hard. I cried uncontrollably and snuggled with Cody. He is such a sweet and amazing person! I had an unsettling feeling from the transfer day. As much as I didn't want to admit it; I just felt in my heart that it wouldn't take from that point on.
This week was the family vacation in Destin and it was very stressful. My poor dad, felt terrible and I took him to the ER, he has cellulitos. We got about three days of beach time between the ER, rain and our doctor appointment and bad news. I am hoping that my dad starts to feel much better. I need both my parents for a VERY long time!! ;)
As sad as I am about leaving the beach, I am ready to get back to normalcy and the GYM!! I am not looking forward to hearing all the questions about IVF and how did it go?!? I want and appreciate all the support and prayers but I'm really not wanting to talk about anything right now. Not how I feel, how sad I am, not what the plan is, not anything.
God is putting us through this for a reason and I am praying for strength to understand that reason. We are meeting with the doctor in the next week to discuss options and where to go from here. I will continue to blog and eventually whatever way we are blessed, we will share the news of our family!
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